Have you ever experienced one of those days that starts bad, and continues to deteriorate until you hit a breaking point? If not, you probably shouldn’t read on. For those of you who are emotional junkies like me, this post is for you.
Today I wish that I could have hit a re-do button somewhere earlier before I ended the evening crying in front of a police officer! Can I blame it on my ESFJ (Extroverted Sensing Feeling Judging) personality, hormones, the impending doom I felt today regarding an exam in Finance or all of the above? The cause of my emotional unraveling doesn’t matter. I own my behavior whether it is good, bad or just crazy.
Finance is one of those subjects that I am required to take in order to complete my MBA. For some reason, I suffer some weird disconnect when sitting down for an exam and everything I study for goes right out of my head. Originally I thought it was due to fear of failure but I really just don’t get the subject at all.
During a previous exam I panicked and vowed that I would do better next time. Oops, I guess that was a bad assumption. Tonight I was able to maintain composure until leaving the building, where I suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to freak out in despair and cry to myself. I walked to the car slowly between sobs and started the engine.
I was crying and driving down the street towards the freeway entrance when I saw flashing lights behind me. Could this experience get any worse? I turned the corner, found a place to park, when the water-works exploded from the depths of my soul. By the time the officer came to my window I was a hideous sight with my red, swollen face and runny nose from the tears. I am sure at that moment, he wished he had not pulled me over, but it was too late.
It turned out that in my haste to go home, I forgot to turn on my headlights and was driving by the dim light of my driving lights. I proceeded to thank the officer for stopping me and told him about the horrible experience that led to this unfortunate incident. I don’t know about him, but it sure felt good for me to unload. He must have felt a little sorry for me because he let me go if I promised to collect myself before continuing the journey home.
Those who know me, understand that the emotional side in me is part of the package. I care deeply about creating a good experience wherever I am, whatever I do and I hate it when things don’t work out as planned. Tonight’s escapade is no exception. Is there a lesson to be learned from this night? Maybe I will come to that conclusion tomorrow. Tonight is about wallowing in self-pity and pulling myself back together. There is always tomorrow.