An Embarrassing Emotional Encounter

Have you ever experienced one of those days that starts bad, and continues to deteriorate until you hit a breaking point? If not, you probably shouldn’t read on. For those of you who are emotional junkies like me, this post is for you.

Today I wish that I could have hit a re-do button somewhere earlier before I  ended the evening crying in front of a police officer!  Can I blame it on my ESFJ (Extroverted Sensing Feeling Judging) personality, hormones, the impending doom I felt today regarding an exam in Finance or all of the above? The cause of my emotional unraveling doesn’t matter. I own my behavior whether it is good, bad or just crazy.

Finance is one of those subjects that I am required to take in order to complete my MBA. For some reason, I suffer some weird disconnect when sitting down for an exam and everything I study for goes right out of my head. Originally I thought it was due to fear of failure but I really just don’t get the subject at all.

During a previous exam I panicked and vowed that I would do better next time. Oops, I guess that was a bad assumption. Tonight I was able to maintain composure until leaving the building, where I suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to freak out in despair and cry to myself. I walked to the car slowly between sobs and started the engine.

I was crying and driving down the street towards the freeway entrance when I saw flashing lights behind me. Could this experience get any worse? I turned the corner, found a place to park, when the water-works exploded from the depths of my soul. By the time the officer came to my window I was a hideous sight with my red, swollen face and runny nose from the tears. I am sure at that moment, he wished he had not pulled me over, but it was too late.

It turned out that in my haste to go home, I forgot to turn on my headlights and was driving by the dim light of my driving lights. I proceeded to thank the officer for stopping me and told him about the horrible experience that led to this unfortunate incident. I don’t know about him, but it sure felt good for me to unload. He must have felt a little sorry for me because he let me go if I promised to collect myself before continuing the journey home.

Those who know me, understand that the emotional side in me is part of the package. I care deeply about creating a good experience wherever I am, whatever I do and I hate it when things don’t work out as planned. Tonight’s escapade is no exception. Is there a lesson to be learned from this night? Maybe I will come to that conclusion tomorrow. Tonight is about wallowing in self-pity and pulling myself back together. There is always tomorrow.

4 thoughts on “An Embarrassing Emotional Encounter

  1. Michelle Fox says:

    That has to be one of the most frustrating things about being a female! I can’t stand the uncontrollable, unavoidable emotional outbursts we have to endure sometimes. It’s happened to me at work before, and it’s so embarrassing. But there are just those times when you can’t hold back the waterworks no matter how much you try or how inappropriate they are. What can you do? Sorry to hear about your test!


  2. peterthorburn says:

    Brave for sharing! Remember we are all human and have our flaws…finance is one of mine too! Keep plugging away, it will eventually creep into the brain and make sense. A finance final is the only time I’ve experienced an anxiety attack, needless to say, bad timing and not cool!

    Bright-side: NO TICKET!


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