am I enough?

I exist as I am, that is enough,
If no other in the world be aware I sit content,
And if each and all be aware I sit content.
One world is aware, and by the far the largest to me, and that is myself,
And whether I come to my own today or in ten thousand or ten million years,
I can cheerfully take it now, or with equal cheerfulness, I can wait.

Walt Whitman

am I enough?

Is it selfish to want?  I spent much of my life striving to please others. Whether it is a family member, loved one or customer, I want to meet their needs as best I can. When is it enough?

Losing myself in others it is easy to put my own desires at bay. What would happen should I fall short and disappoint those I care most about?

Always worried I’m not enough, I continue on my quest until I finally become angry and disenchanted with those whom I try to satisfy. This becomes a time for rebellion as I realize my efforts are in vain.

ironic for someone who is so uninhibited

Priding myself in an ability to say almost anything without becoming embarrassed, it seems ironic that I should worry so about others well-being over my own. Is it possible to be strong yet vulnerable?

Appearances can be deceiving. I come across as a self-assured MBA mermaid, but inside I feel like a small child who fears rejection and abandonment. Why do I place such value in others perception of me?

what is enough?

Am I enough to keep someone happy? Maybe it is my turn to ask what is in it for me?

4 thoughts on “am I enough?

  1. Shauna says:

    Let me say one thing to you my friend.. YOU ARE ENOUGH! You are a loving caring beautiful woman and you need to find a way to let go of the worry of others that are never going to approve, maybe because it isn’t their job to approve of you, it is your job.Love yourself fully!!
    I love you.. you are a great person.. and a mermaid how cool is that??

    Like

  2. miriamgomberg says:

    Thanks Eliz. It is one of the deepest lies I carry around with me to this day. My brain knows that I am enough but something triggers inside that gets the wheels turning and the self-doubt starts.

    Like

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