what I need now

What do I need?

a glass of wine = happiness
a glass of wine = happiness

I revisit the theme of creating happiness often. My family thinks I am seeking  life’s answers. Shouldn’t I be? If I don’t know the solution, what is wrong with searching for it?

It is not just a middle-age thing to wonder about love, life and happiness. What is happiness? Contentment, complacency, cheerfulness? I looked to my good friends at the Oxford English Dictionary online to see what they said it meant.


the state of being happy: she struggled to find happiness in her life. Tom’s heart swelled with happiness

Seriously???? What the heck am I supposed to get from that? No duh, it is a state of being happy. Hmm… Maybe my better friends at the urbandictionary.com have something better. (drumroll please)

happiness is like peeing in your pants. everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth.
I am happy and everyone can see it but only I can feel the warmth 🙂
Now that is more like it! A descriptive I can visualize and feel (no I didn’t pee my pants to test the theory). Joy might be intangible but there has to be a way to sense when it is present. Is there anything I require to find a piece of happiness?

my turn

Enough of the dictionary definitions already. It is now time for my own interpretation of happiness…

  1. A cool breeze.  Whether it is from a fan, descending a hill on my bicycle or the window being rolled down, the feeling of wind on my face makes me happy.
  2. A heated kiss.  Definitely not a chaste peck on the lips. A kiss with passion behind it always makes me feel  giddy.
  3. A good workout. It’s probably the endorphins but exercise makes me positively radiant.
  4. A restful sleep. This might seem like no big deal, but I tend to wake up at least twice in the night. It feels glorious when I make it all the way until morning before opening my eyes.
  5. Letting go of attachment. OK. I am just starting to work on this. It is an ingrained notion that I must take care of everyone around me. When I let go of attachment, it is liberating and it makes me happy too.

Originally I thought of listing physical things I want right now. Stuff like getting my hair done, a pedi, or buying something sparkly. I appreciate all of these, but in themselves, they do not create happiness. Although, I am enjoying a nice glass of Pinot Grigio while typing (definitely happy from the wine).

is it up to me?

Does this mean I must search for happiness outside myself or from within? Yeah I know the answer to that as well. If tangible items can create a short term burst of joy, maybe I should keep stockpiling things until I am blissful. Somehow the good feelings wear off and I am stuck with a ginormous bill, or at least a lot of stuff I don’t necessarily need.

Mermaiding brings me joy. I wonder if it is due to the lack of inhibition and downright fantasy of it or all the gear that makes me happy. I love getting new tails and hoping to get at least one this year. A girl needs options! Mermaid season is upon us and I can’t wait to slip into the water in one of my tails.IMG_1152

As a child, I would be happy playing with my favorite Barbie doll. Was I really happy then? My head is beginning to spin from the thought that is where it began. Even better, when I would cry as a baby, did my mom place a binkie in my mouth? Was it the sensation of sucking on the pacifier or the pacifier itself that made me happy?

your turn

What do you need to be happy? Like me, do you enjoy lots of stuff? If you don’t mermaid, what do you do that is pleasurable? Share your top picks.

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