taking responsible ownership

In case you haven’t noticed, life is imperfect. Flaws come in all varieties. It is how we handle these glitches that matter. Do you freak out and hide in a corner when things go wrong or suck it up and take ownership of the situation?

I love my manipulatie teenager
I love my manipulatie teenager

boo boo’s hurt

Sometimes with even the best intentions we screw things up beyond repair. Mistakes are made and people suffer as a result. The reality is that as an individual, I can only be responsible for my actions and reactions. The rest is up to you.

Remembering that my word for 2013 is PRESENCE in reflection I haven’t exactly been as present of mind as originally envisioned. I was reminded of this today when having a heartfelt conversation with my 15 year old son.

When I arrived home from work, he mentioned that our deal is I get him food/video games/whatever else he may think of and he lets me ignore him as much as I want. OUCH!!!!!

Granted, he was attempting (quite effectively I might add) to manipulate me into giving in to his wishes. As soon as I called him out on it, he smiled and admitted it. Still I couldn’t stop thinking about what he said and the truth behind it.

the easy way out may not be the best route

Do I take ownership for the bargain or pass it off? It would be easier and less painful to let go and consider it a trick played by a growing and ever hungry teenager. Unfortunately, I tend to not take the easy path.

Responsible for how I interact with others,  I cannot control their perceptions. However, reacting to this declaration is entirely my responsibility. At first, I cried (I know you are shocked). Tears in itself is not an overreaction. Once tears dried, I pondered my role. I am not in charge of his happiness, yet I contribute to it.

Floating down a roiling stream of consciousness, I dragged myself onto dry land. I own my piece. What I am lacking is presence. This does not make me a bad mother, just a realistic one.

owning it

I have taken responsible ownership, what next? Now I am aware of the situation, what will I do with this new found ownership? Will unicorns dance on rainbows and mermaids sing and dance under the sea?

Is the damage beyond repair; I don’t think so. It is impossible to erase the past mistakes. They happened. The song hasn’t finished yet.

How present are you? Life will always be imperfect. Accept it. Learn from the bumps and enrich your experience.





4 thoughts on “taking responsible ownership

  1. Mechelle Merrill says:

    I couldn’t agree more Mim…. this applies to all aspects of our lives, but none as importantly as in the way we parent our children. Sam is a cool kid, bravo!
    Happy Rosh Hashanah, sorry will miss you and the rest of the Reno Jew Crew.


  2. themeaningofmeblog says:

    You’re so right. Being present is so important – to our spouses, kids, and perhaps to ourselves. If I’m answering honestly, I am not always as present as I should be or want to be. But like you said, we are imperfect. We recognize, we modify, we move on.

    L’shanah tovah (a little late)!


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