fearing uncertainty

Searching for a path to spirituality is draining. After asking several friends and relative, I came to the conclusion that I am uncertain.

spirituality search continues
spirituality search continues

Is there a definitive answer? Does it matter? Perhaps the journey itself is the spirituality. So, as per usual, I researched uncertainty. My go to source is the OED. Here is their definition:


  • not able to be relied on; not known or definite:an uncertain future
  • (of a person) not completely confident or sure of something:I was uncertain how to proceed

I may have found something

It seems I may have stumbled onto a valuable lesson here. Perhaps it is uncertainty that stalled me thus far. If I am anxious about outcome, I might miss the route altogether.

Granted, a friend previously suggested I seek a path and answers will be discovered along the way. This is definitely one answer I’m hunting for.

“The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers. ”
— Erich Fromm

what does uncertainty tell me

A friend assured me if I could uncover my spiritual being, I would find inner peace. At first, it sounded like a load of crap. Does inner peace and/or blissful happiness actually exist?

Shouldn’t there be an antagonist in order to make an interesting story? Could it be uncertainty is the scoundrel holding me hostage? I visualize a villain with a mustache and top hat dressed in all black laughing evilly as he ties me to railroad tracks.

Actually, he kinda looks like Dread Pirate Roberts wearing a mask and carrying a sword. Mocking my displeasure he says, “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”

enough with the “princess bride” quotes

Sorry. I float without direction down a different stream of consciousness and BAM, I’m off topic again. Funny how Dread Pirate Roberts turns out to be the hero after all. Just saying.

What my friend explained was spirituality is attained when I am in the present. If my mind is focused on the past, I become depressed. The opposite is true for worries about future outcomes; anxiety.

It is only when my mind and body are truly in the now that I can be free. I am one to torment about possible future consequences. The reality is they will happen regardless. It is better to let it go and let things happen.

“Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.”
Brené Brown (The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are)

Being aware I must unchain uncertainty, I wonder how am I supposed to do it? Erff. One answer leads to a million questions. What if I can’t do it? (It’s not easy to relinquish uncertainty)

lesson learned; the journey continues

Time to put on my big girl panties and press on. At least now I have a sense of how to receive spiritual growth.

Are you certain about choices you make? Do you find it important to dismiss uncertainty and just go with it? If so, how do you do it? I’m still searching. Share your thoughts.

“Embrace relational uncertainty. It’s called romance. Embrace spiritual uncertainty. It’s called mystery. Embrace occupational uncertainty. It’s called destiny. Embrace emotional uncertainty. It’s called joy. Embrace intellectual uncertainty. It’s called revelation.”
Mark Batterson (In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day: How to Survive and Thrive When Opportunity Roars)

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