sometimes it is better being heard than fixed

I am a self-described crier. When I feel sadness, pain, extreme joy, or any other excuse I can come up with, the water works erupts. I’m not sure if this is a healthy display of emotion, but it is who I am.

a crying moment
a crying moment

whatcha gonna do?

When you see/hear someone crying, what is your first response? Do you A) immediately run away and avoid any contact with her? B) Ask what is wrong so that you can solve her problems for her? C) none of the above.

If you answered B) I have news; when I’m crying, I don’t want to be fixed. It is probably better to avoid me altogether if you feel the urge to get out your emotional tool belt and get to work.

It’s not that the effort is unappreciated, but rationalizing with someone lost in tears is pointless. Sometimes (OK, probably more often than sometimes) I need the release crying offers.

cry baby cry

I don’t cry in order to manipulate others. Sometimes it is motivated by self-pity but more often it is an illustration of overwhelming emotion. A dear friend once told me, “Mimi cries. That’s what she does.”

This person really got it. Crying doesn’t mean I’m looking for sympathy. There was nothing wrong with expressing grief, sorrow, or uncertainty. Rather than trying to stop the tears, this friend would simply sit near and wait for me to finish on my own.

Why are so many people afraid to cry in front of others? Are they overly concerned about what they will think? Will it put a chink in the armor letting people realize you are deficient in some way?

Weeping is not an admission of weakness. I believe it is a sign of humanity when someone feels comfortable enough in her own skin to sob in front of others. In some ways it takes strength of character to successfully accomplish this.

There is a time and place when crying is completely inappropriate. For example, while at work, customers and/or coworkers don’t need to see or hear me bawl.

doing the right thing

Recently I read a post by Kenneth Justice titled Pastors, Car Accidents & A@$ Holes…REALLY? that really got me thinking. Here is a guy drinking his coffee not bothering anyone and a woman sat by him that was clearly in distress.

He wasn’t actually interested in starting a conversation with this woman, yet he was compelled to sit and listen to her woes. A perfect stranger, he really had nothing to gain by engaging her.

If wasn’t about Kenneth and how he could fix the stranger. It wasn’t about him at all. It was a touching human moment. Someone just needed to be heard. It was doing the right thing.

lesson learned; I don’t always need fixing

Most days I cry at least once (probably more while PMS’ing). I am not necessarily broken or damaged beyond repair. Tears help heal my soul.

A cleansing cry can be healthy. It frees up the emotion so that it doesn’t build until I explode (not a pretty sight to be sure).

Just because I cry does not mean I want your pity or advice. Maybe I just want your shoulder to lean into while I blubber on.

How do you release your emotions? Are you a crier like me or the stoic type who sucks it up and hits puppies when no one is looking. Share your thoughts.

 

 

2 thoughts on “sometimes it is better being heard than fixed

  1. Lisa @ The Meaning of Me says:

    I do my share of crying – usually when I’m totally frustrated. My daily emotional release? Sadly, it’s hollering. It’s not a trait I’m particularly proud of, but there it is. One of my goals is to learn to speak more softly and not raise my voice as quickly as I tend to do.

    Like

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