this is me

Transparency or opacity. Relationships can be categorized as transactional or intimate?  A determinant of emotional intelligence is the ability to build and thrive in transparent interpersonal relationships.

Are you disengaged, private and/or secretive or are you vitreous in that you have few if any boundaries? There has to be something in between. What is transparency anyway?

OED describes transparent as:


  • (of a material or article) allowing light to pass through so that objects behind can be distinctly seen: transparent blue water
  • easy to perceive or detect: the residents will see through any transparent attempt to buy their votes the meaning of the poem is by no means transparent
  • having thoughts, feelings, or motives that are easily perceived:you’d be no good at poker—you’re too transparent

apparently transparent

There is a difference between being transparent and seeming so. If a hidden agenda is tied to it (i.e. getting a promotion or snagging a man), the transparency is inauthentic. Are you acting based on fear or genuine caring?

Don’t hide in the shadows. Concealing parts of yourself because you dread being judged or unaccepted can lead to loneliness and self abandonment. A healthy relationship involves trust and respect, not smoke in mirrors.

this is me
this is me

Kinda like a “yes man”, you take the easy road. Saying yes dear and shutting down or ignoring your more emotional and intimate thoughts is safe but unsatisfying. These feelings don’t simply go away if you ignore them.

 concurrently transparent

Transparency demands all parties take part in order to be successful. It may sound cliche to talk about your feelings, but it’s essential. Transparency does not occur in a vacuum.

You don’t have to share your deepest darkest desires with the world (like I do). A chosen friend or partner will suffice. It is OK to show vulnerability. Letting go of inhibitions is half the fun.

transparent me

I am a firm believer in transparency in many of life’s aspects including but not limited to:

  • relationships (business or personal)
  • government
  • online presence
  • leadership
  • parenting

When you are honestly transparent, defensive feelings are put to rest. You can relax knowing that you are accepted and/or loved by another individual. It is hard but worthwhile work letting your walls down.

Transparency takes great awareness and self-acceptance. I am not afraid to post unflattering pictures of me crying or without makeup. These and other pics are genuine and raw. It’s part of saying, “this is me” to whoever wants to see it.

It helps that I have no guile but the reality is I need to work on transparency in my personal life. I still suffer from fear of abandonment and rejection. Even a mermaid, diva, zebra princess, cupcake has doubts. Hey! It’s a process.

this is you

Are you emotionally transparent? What are your hopes and dreams? Who do you share them with? Go ahead and share them with me either privately or through comments. I promise not to judge.

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