saying sorry

Who enjoys saying sorry? It is one thing when I accidentally bump into someone while strolling grocery store aisles. I almost always have at least 20 things on my mind at any given time and knocking into strangers isn’t on the list. Sorry (there! I said it!!)

Does it negate the action if I apologize for it? Maybe it’s like taking a giant magic eraser. I can do whatever I please as long as I say sorry in the end. Ran over your toes in the frozen food section; sorry.

and then I woke up…

An apology is not a one size fix all problem solver. When my kids were little, I kissed boo boos and made them better. The healing quality of my kisses were immediate. Begging pardon may not have the same affect.

Sorry conveys the fact I noticed an indiscretion. Your toe may still throb as a result distracted poor grocery cart driving skills. Does this mean I shouldn’t text and roll at the same time?

This may sound like a total excuse, but my mouth runneth when I am feeling premenstrual. Actions that normally don’t bother me, grate on my nerves. Short fused and loaded with explosive hormones, I am a sight to behold. Watch out!

my latest explosion

The other day, I came home from work to find my son sitting on the sofa reading and listening to music. No biggie. He’s usually either on the sofa or in the library on his computer.

Sam being Sam
Sam being Sam

Work was no more stressful than usual. Honestly, after a full day, I just want to come home and unwind. I go upstairs to change into jammie pants and see my husband is sitting on the bed watching TV. Again, no biggie here.

When I made my way back downstairs, the first thing out of Sam’s mouth is, “what’s for dinner?” REALLY????? Sam is 16 and can’t get his lazy butt off the couch long enough to eat something? Erfff.

I was beyond furious. What was so stinking irresistible about bugging me for dinner after working 9 hours on my feet? After I fed him (yeah, I know) I asked him to brush his teeth. He didn’t answer. I asked again more loudly than before. Sam exclaimed I was nagging him.

That was all I needed to completely freak out. Every pent up anger came out in a raging torrent. Sam simply looked at me as I unraveled before him. I cried, yelled, cried some more and went upstairs to be alone in my frustration.

the sorry part

Was it cathartic freaking out on my kid? Not really. Was I sorry for the display? Yes. He wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary to deserve the onslaught. I wasn’t sure why I chose that occasion to melt down.

I stayed quiet, holed up in my room for the night. The following morning I went down stopping to speak with Sam. I told him I was sorry for my behavior the previous night.

He leaned down to hug me (almost 6’6″) and like the magic kiss, it was all better. He had already blown it off. I think the apology was more for me in that I needed closure.

owning my flaws

I can’t promise I will always behave correctly or treat others respectfully. That would be a bold faced lie. I don’t yell and scream on a regular basis and own it when I do.

Hormones aside, occasionally I completely blow it. When I apologized to Sam, I was contrite. He knew I took no pleasure in screaming at him. He knows I love him and make mistakes.

How do you say sorry? Is it something that is said left and right or kept for special occasions. Share your best sorry moments.

This post was inspired by Mama Kat’s weekly writing prompt. If you haven’t, you really should check out her blog, Mama’s Losin’ It.

1.) The last time you apologized to someone was for…

9 thoughts on “saying sorry

  1. Kyliegh says:

    I think we all have moments as mothers! I had one myself the other day where I just lost it!! I had to ask my 7 year old for forgiveness. I turned it into a teaching moment that all people mess up. 🙂 I think it proves to our kids that we are not perfect either. (I still wish I didn’t blow it sometimes though! 😉 )

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    1. miriamgomberg says:

      Kyliegh, no one likes blowing it. I guess it is the cracks in the foundation that make us uniquely human. It probably is a great teaching moment for our kids that is OK to blow it and come back for forgiveness. Thanks for stopping by.

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    1. miriamgomberg says:

      Melinda, I was really careful in my wording (for a change) and apologized for my overreaction but not for getting pissed off. We all have the right to get angry but are responsible for our actions and reactions. Too bad I don’t always remember that when my head is about to explode. M

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  2. carol says:

    Sometimes we just need “some time” to ourselves. Obviously you are doing something right. Your son really does know that you love him! Enjoyed your post.

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  3. momfeld says:

    6’6″? Holy wow! Stop feeding that kid! What a doll he is the way he accepted your apology. Love that. I actually did a post last year about saying “sorry.” I feel like I say sorry for everything, even when it’s not my fault because it just comes out. But I fly off the handle way too often and have to say “sorry” to my daughter because my irish always gets the better of me. It happens. We’re moms with a lot of stuff on our plates. I think our children know us enough to know that we love them even when they piss us off. And we’re allowed to get pissed off. Sometimes.

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